No one could ever have told me how I would feel at this exact moment in my life.
Its 11:45pm. In 15 minutes my little girl will be one.
One years old.
I stopped to think about how long it took us to get here. Right here.
3 years and a number of days. Too big a number to remember.
And I finally got to watch my tummy grow.
The first flutter, the first kick and the first time I seen her elbow sweep across my stomach.
I was already in love.
Then came first time they put this fragile little baby in my arms and I held her.
I kissed her.
I whispered how perfect she is.
How happy she made us.
How lucky she made us feel.
& how loved she was already at only 3 minutes old.
I couldn't sleep that night. I could only watch. Watching Keith asleep on a chair at the side of her cot.
He woke every so often checking we were both ok and telling me I needed to get some sleep.
But I could only watch her teeny little breaths make her little chest go up and down.
Smiling every time it happened.
This year has passed so fast. It's like I have been watching someone elses life.
Documenting every little milestone she passes. I don't want to miss or forget anything.
It came to 7am & I didn't want to wake her.
I wanted her to stay little.
We opened a few presents and had a cupcake for breakfast.
Then came her party!
If you had asked us 10 years ago when we met what we'd be doing at 2:30am, on what was soon to be a Saturday morning, baking cookies and ruffling cakes would not have been one of our answers.
We had more cake....
And jelly & ice cream with pinwheels.
We got to celebrate with our friends,
Laugh with our family and enjoy our beautiful little girl.
It finally feels like our life has the right balance and is a whole.
I got to make that birthday special birthday cake that I never thought I would.
Happy First Birthday Ruby..
We love you xx